My boyfriend is pretty average, and so am I. We spend our time together doing normal things and don’t go out much.
OMG! I’m a preening narcissist.
Conversation I just had with my mom.
Me: For me to share on Facebook later, can you say something that makes you seem, like, really cool and eccentric?
Me: What about something that suggests our family ties are powerful, deep, and noble?
Just got back from a tiny village in the middle of Azerbaijan. Was well shit!
I’m only secretly fascinating, witty, and wonderful. Don’t tell anyone.
Blah, blah, who gives a crap?
I literally couldn’t be any more addicted to heroin right now.
Yesterday I pretended to hate Gravity because I want you to think I’m intriguing and discerning.
Just me standing next to Beyonce. (BECAUSE I GO PLACES WHERE THAT SORT OF THING HAPPENS. UNLIKE YOU, YOU BORING CUNT.)
Check out my new blog post. It’s a list of things – a really fresh and exciting way of trying to be funny.