Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at the Grocery Store

At last! The sensational follow up to my (also) sensational Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at Work post.

1. Buy 135 toothbrushes and nothing else.

Toothbrush

2. Listen to all the fruit and vegetables you buy with a stethoscope.

Stethoscope

3. Take a single apple to a shelf-stacker and ask, will this still be available next Wednesday?

Apple

4. Go around using an umbrella, as if it were raining.

Umbrella Indoors

5. For every new item at the checkout ask, Is that buy one, for the price of one? Then chuckle mildly.

A Man Chuckling

6. Use a wheelbarrow.

Wheelbarrow

7. Sound a vintage car horn whenever someone gets in your way.

Vintage Car Horn

8. Go up to another shopper and say, Excuse me, I think you dropped something. Then: No, yesterday.

Confusing Someone

9. Take a ticket at the deli counter. When your number comes up, don’t ask for anything – just step forward and sing all of Amazing Grace.

10. Down every other aisle, scream uncontrollably.

The Scream - Edward Munch

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About newjonnytransit

Same as ever, only better.
This entry was posted in Nonsense & Bullshit and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at the Grocery Store

  1. Mary says:

    I think credit should be given to your Father for number 7!

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