Anyone for Bathos? Famous Speeches (All Messed Up And That)

Today I thought I’d fudge, smudge, besmirch, and spoil some of mankind’s most famous and profound utterances and thoughts. You know, for a laugh…


– Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

– No.

Our Father

Our father, who art in heaven,
Hurry home, it’s dinnertime.


I came, I saw, I napped for a bit and then went home.

 Rene Descartes

I think therefore… hmmm, I could really go for some ham.

 The Beatles

She loves you, yeah, yeah, I think so. Could be wrong. Not sure.


E = this and that.


I wandered lonely as a cloud
But then asked someone for directions.


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Just couldn’t make my mind up.


Houston, we’re fine.

 Livingstone and Stanley

Dr. Livingston, right?

 New York City

New York: the city that sleeps pretty much the regular amount.

Abe Lincoln

Four score and seven years ago… wait… I had it… no, sorry, it’s gone.

 Taxi Driver

You talkin’ to me? Sorry, I thought you were.

Neil Armstrong

That’s one small step for a man. About 18 inches, I reckon.


Just do it. (Or not, whatever.)


When a man is tired of London, chances are he stayed up too late.

John F Kennedy

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask something else.


I have a dream… Had it last night. But you know what it’s like – if you don’t write it down straight away, you forget.

Our Father

Then God said, “Let there be light… can’t see a damn thing with the light off.”

Winston Churchill

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. The middle, basically.


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About newjonnytransit

Same as ever, only better.
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