My Julie and Julia (How to Build a Bigger Audience for Your Blog)

Just finished watching Julie and Julia, half of which follows the real-life exploits of an amateur cook who set herself the task of completing every recipe in a Julia Child cookbook within a year – and to blog about the whole experience. You probably saw the film already, or at least the trailer.

Julie & Julia

Anyhow, it got me thinking. Perhaps I could set myself some tricky task, and also blog about the whole experience. Then turn it all into a book and a movie, starring Meryl Streep. I’d just need one half-decent idea to hook everybody’s interest. Something a little out the ordinary, and neither too easy nor too difficult to accomplish.

Probably the most enterprising thing would be to workshop a few ideas now, in case any or all of them turn out to be crap. Maybe you could help point me in the right direction? Bearing in mind I’ll definitely do one of the following, blog about the whole experience, and turn it into a book and a movie, starring Meryl Streep.

Idea # 1: When I’m Cleaning Windows

An homage to the life and work of Lancastrian comic and ukelele player George Formby, whose song The Window Cleaner is beloved across the globe. Each day, for as long as possible, I’ll clean a different window: each time, (1) belonging to a different building, (2) from the outside, and (3; the hard part) one floor higher up than the day before.

George Formby

Potential drawbacks:

  • Fear of heights means I could only realistically do this for a maximum of two days.
  • I don’t really have any interest in George Formby or, therefore, any corresponding expertise in his life and work.

Idea # 2: Adman

For a year, I’ll continue to watch roughly the same amount of television as I do now (on average between five minutes and five hours per day) – only, instead of flipping between programs and trying to avoid adverts, I’ll do the exact opposite: flip between adverts and try to avoid programs. Will doing so change me in any noticeable way? Will it result in my spending more money on things I don’t particularly need? Or will it just give me something ‘quirky’ to talk about in various social situations? (Related: I’ll also legally change my name to Adam, so the blog title “Adman” works better.)

OxiClean

Potential drawbacks:

  • Might result in the complete and irreversible annihilation of my soul, mind, and spirit.
  • I’ll never find out what happens in Homeland.

Idea # 3: Full Price/Half-Baked

I’ll quit my job and use all my life savings to open a satirical bakery. It will be a bit like an actual bakery, but, in order to make a satirical point, it will only sell three things: novelty cupcakes, cake pops, and biscotti. It will be somewhere “in the village” and minimally furnished with just a wooden counter, a cash register, and a single handwritten note up in the window that reads:

For sale: novelty cupcakes, cake pops, and biscotti.
Prices: weirdly high.

Novelty Cupcake

Potential drawbacks:

  • Fiscally irresponsible.
  • Too much baking.

Idea # 4: Stores of the Union

Forming a wry commentary on the increasing commercialization of America, I’ll replace every proper noun in every State of the Union address – going through them chronologically, one at a time – with the name of an American store/retailer (while ensuring throughout that every store/retailer is properly contemporaneous with the State of the Union address in question).

Potential drawbacks:

  • Might be prohibitively difficult (given the need to identify several thousand historically accurate stores/retailers).
  • Liable to be less a wry commentary on the increasing commercialization of America, and more a complete waste of time and effort for everyone involved.

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About newjonnytransit

Same as ever, only better.
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