Finally, here’s your chance to hunker back from the edge of your seat – as I reveal the answers to the crossword what I wrote last week. These, my friends, are they (and further down, what your performance means):
Now, let’s see how you did…
√ Yep, I got them all right.
Congratulations, you are one of life’s born winners. People do like the cut of your jib. You’re listened to in meetings and gazed at longingly by strangers. Only good things lie ahead for you – and everything you ever attempt you will succeed at magnificently.
√ Oops, I got one or more incorrect.
It gives me no pleasure to break this news – but you, I’m afraid, are certifiably dense. A simpleton. A pinhead. A wheel nut short of a hub cap. Don’t even bother fighting it a single moment longer: there’s a padded room somewhere with your name on it. And just as soon as some kind soul drags your sorry arse there, you’ll be spending the rest of your days tapping out the tune to Humpty Dumpty while sucking warm soup up through a straw.
√ I don’t know how I did, because I was unaware of this crossword/too “busy” to attempt it.
What can I say? I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed. (I’ll never get those three commuter train journeys back, you know…)
Next time: something winningly new and engrossing. (*Subject to the having, and execution of, a winningly new and engrossing idea.)