Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at Work

No reason, just because…

1. Use an etch-a-sketch to make notes with during meetings – and shake it clear whenever the meeting ends.

2. Whenever a co-worker says something to the effect that it’s raining out, reply “Yes, ’tis a naughty night to swim in.”

3. Cheerily engage in conversations about pop culture, but always be at least a month out of date, and, wherever possible, weirdly specific.

Did anyone see American Idol seven weeks ago?

No, I haven’t ever watched Men of a Certain Age. But I have often enjoyed the
comical interplay between Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell in the popular

science-fiction series Quantum Leap.

Who’s your favorite Spice Girl – both before and after their fifth single Spice Up Your Life?

4. Insist on taking off from work all Jewish High Holidays – while not being in any other discernible way an observing Jew.

5. If a colleague stops by and says they’re running out to the local store and do you want anything, say “Can I please have a whole piece of fruit that’s bigger than an averagely sized satsuma but smaller than a small grapefruit, and which isn’t an apple, an orange, or a pear. You know, whatever feels ripe, looks good, and isn’t too expensive.”

6. Replace your desk chair with a yoga ball.

7. Hum frequently – but only ever something sombre.

8. (If applicable.) Ask the same co-worker for the door code to the bathroom every time you use the bathroom – and always ask when they give it to you, “is that for a pee or for a poo?”

9. Use “mousepad,” “box of tissues,” and “toaster oven” interchangeably.

10. Wear straw glasses – and keep on doing so even when you don’t have a drink.

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About newjonnytransit

Same as ever, only better.
This entry was posted in Nonsense & Bullshit and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at Work

  1. charlotte davinson says:

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! i want to now Start doing these things! even though i don’t work in an office, as such. oh
    🙂
    xx

    • Ha ha, that’s awesome. You should definitely try and do at least half of these things – then you’ll only be a semi-oddball, but you’ll have had a good laugh along the way! In any case, much thanks for the comment – this thing is always much more fun when I get some of them, but they’ve been few and far between lately…

  2. Rob Main says:

    OMG, i been checking on my Iphone and it hasnt refreshed since July!!!

    I have missed so many of these posts

    • Well, sir, what can I say? Welcome back – you’ve been missed, but pull up a chair and make yourself at home! Maybe I’ll write a new blog about Bobby George in your honour… (but probably not!)

  3. Pingback: Time Out Of Mind | The New Jonny Transit Blog

  4. Pingback: Ten Ways to Irrevocably Mark Yourself as an Oddball at the Grocery Store | The New Jonny Transit Blog

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