Annual General Meeting

On my work calendar Wednesday, yet more sobering proof that between us and the cold grip of death is nothing but endless, hopeless, Godless chance:

6.30pm – 8.30pm: A.G.M.

On the very occasion of my 29th birthday, someone – I don’t know who – has had the temerity to schedule my organization’s Annual General Meeting, then obliged me to attend. On my birthday! Who even knows how many more sanity, sentience and flesh will conspire to allow? Thirty? Forty? Fifty, at an optimistic push? And I have to spend this next one at an Annual General Meeting. What a sorry stench, I’m sure you’ll agree – from only an unloving bottom could such an existential foul ever have come.

Well I’ll be damned, though, if I can’t at least think of better things. Here, in fact, you’ll see that I’ve already taken the trouble… Pointless Whimsy 1, Wicked Providence 0. Some other A.G.M.s (surely a list imploring your additions at the usual place below) —

Another Godawful Mass

Aggressive Gardener Mediation

Accidental Gopher Massacre

Atomic Grub Machine

Atrocious Gaffe Moderation

April Groping March

Arsenic/Grandmother Mischief

Agitated Ghost Molestation

Ambiguous Gun Magazine

Awkward Grave-digging Mishap

Asperger’s Golf Mime

Architect Girder Murder

Asymmetric Globe Mystery

Aggravating Grating Mosaic

Asinine Gripe Modulation

Anticlimactic Gladioli Maze

Austrian Generational Mutation

After Great Mince

Annoying Granddaughter Manslaughter

Antisocial Gonzo Mayhem

Ho hum, till next time….


About newjonnytransit

Same as ever, only better.
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6 Responses to Annual General Meeting

  1. minutes of the AGM

    Article 8.1 AOB

    8.1 The board would like to Wish Mr Curtis a happy birthday and the commitee was delighted with the party balloons, hats and food provided that made the whole meeting delightful, the committee states they wish to provide Mr Curtis with a birthday gift.

    To action ALL for JC

    Great (Idea from)

    • First order of business: board unanimously approves Main as new Board Chair. Duties to include organizing weekly trips to Corals and lunch-hour darts.

      The committee would also like to thank Main for his continuing support of the newjonnytransit blog – although putting “idea from” in brackets is very clearly cheating!

      (Thanks for birthday wishes too, Rob – hope to see you in Blighty next month…)

  2. Rob Curtis says:

    Another gay meeting….

    I actually like mine the most. It sums up meetings perfectly. But hey ho, Happy happy birthday ! ! !
    oh wait, one more springs to mind….

    Arsenal go missing (for the second time at home this season)

    • Cheers, Bob. (Thought I’d try out a slightly new name for you). Not sure what happened to Arsenal against the Toons… 27 misplaced passes from Fabregas – that’s more than the rest of his Arsenal career put together, I believe. Bad day at the office, I guess. (But at least we’re not ‘owned’ by the Glazer family…)

      • Rob Curtis says:

        Ok Mohammed,

        Just trying out a new name for you, let me know if you like it. I can then address your Christmas presents as such….

        I dislike the whole Glazer ownership situation, its taken the club – a very very profitable club – and turned into a debt ridden one, which is hugely reliant on constant success. But, I would rather be a ManYoo fan, than any whiny gooner, scouse, hammer, or the worst of all. A chelsea supporter. Is there anything worse than a Chelsea person? They are all born with their knuckles dragging on the floor and a mouth full of ready to fire expletives.


      • Hmmm. Things worse than a Chelsea person. Force-feeding kittens nail-scissors. Ah… Power-stappling your feet to a chainsaw then kicking yourself in the face… Watching the Jersey Shore… That’s about all I can think of. Maybe contemplating a Man Utd midfield without Keane, Giggs and Scholes – that would be pretty bad, I guess!

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